The process of software development in practice (Fun)

I collected a brother's share on FB about immortal software development process, no book mentioned but actually it:

  1. First, the Salesman will meet the customer, entice the solicitation, give the price in 5 months (medium project)
  2. Finished the BA / PM will join Sales with requirements from customers
  3. Parallel HR will run away recruiting to do
  4. Customers are ok, sign contract and pay 30%, sales before 5% of the 30%, this month is warm
  5. The lead team / lead project will be with the senior dev sitting break down requirement, calculating the task, finishing the team lead the time, with this requirement, pretending not to change any more, then do 8 months done
  6. The PM nodded, ok for the 4-month deadline, with the promise of making a good share of the project
  7. Become a lead team to arrange personnel, split tasks, scrum / agile types, eloquence: this project is my brother, 3 months,
  8. Mr. senior dev has just trained for 3 new kids who just don't carry the team
  9. 3 new dev in the weekly work 5 days, 8 hours, not including OT evening + 7th, sun work at home
  10. After 1 month in 1 out, HR recruited 1 more guy + PM got a dev from another team to side
  11. After 1 more month, discover some misunderstanding of requests from customers + customers will see a certain website has good features, ask to do the same
  12. After another month, the project basically failed perfectly. The leader of the team jumped into the sub-code 2 of junior, because the senior dev is hospitalized for tuberculosis
  13. PM decided to pull 2 ​​more dev from another project, it took 2 weeks for them to read documents and understand the new ones because of the new junior dev guys in the code.
  14. Through the 6th month, the sales guy has now worked for another company. PM still contacted customers to make time. Regarding the development team, the senior dev guy has been released, OT has been in over 1 week, the rest is still code + debug, the team lead has occasionally asked to leave the interview for some company.
  15. Through the 7th month, customers had a demo to watch
  16. Through the 8th month, the customer pays 40% of the project cost to receive a source code "can run if you click on the buttons in the correct order" with the statement never to return
  17. Through the 9th month, 2 junior devs were fired due to unsatisfactory skills, poor performance
  18. At the end of the PM, you get the project bonus as usual
  19. The lead team opened its own company
  20. The senior dev through Lazada makes double salary
  21. HR keeps adding dev to fill in the blank

End your life in horror!

ITZone via kipalog

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